It’s so common these days to see people who are committed to another, posting either a lot or very little of their relationship on social media. Those who post a lot of photos, statuses and moments of their relationship are considered to have a “shaky” or “unstable” relationship, filled with insecurity and egotistic mindsets. Those who post very few pictures or statuses of/about their partner are considered to not even have a relationship. That if they aren’t posting for everyone to see, they have issues or are on the verge of breaking up.
Personally, I can say that I post somewhere in the middle in regard to what i share about my relationship with my S.O. I don’t post to get likes. I don’t post to receive a flood of comments from my single friends about how “perfect” my relationship is and how “jealous” they are of me. i don’t post to gain attention, or to portray my relationship as perfect. Let’s face it, no relationship will ever be perfect. In my opinion, the most perfect relationships are the ones that are battered and bruised from hurricanes of emotion, and yet they still manage to keep fighting for one another and committing to one another every day.
So, I have been questioning, what is it in our world that puts this stigma and plants this subconscious goal of having a perfect relationship?
Recently in the world, the colossal effects of social media have spread to all corners of the globe. People now make careers based off of how many likes they can get on a post on Instagram. It is truly absurd in relation to how quickly all of this came about.
Instagram is a well-known platform, on which everyone can share everything. “Insta-famous” people can basically shape the way in which society moves forward, as they’re influencers. What i have been noticing more and more recently though, is the growing pattern in “relationship goals”. These “relationship goals” have stemmed from a post that one of these many influencers has posted. For example:
These pictures begin to build up a set-criteria, an ideal of what love is like, particularly in the 21st century. They all portray perfection, however we don’t see the “behind the scenes” of the relationship. What actually goes on. This is the hardest part of trying to resist confining your beliefs and expectations of love, based off of what you see PORTRAYED on the internet.
As a young woman in society, i have always fantasised about finding The One. And as i have gotten to grow and gain more and more knowledge, i have realised that I will never find The One. Now I don’t want people who do know me personally to get confused, as I am in a serious relationship with someone I consider the love of my life, because of the above statement. What i mean by “never finding The One” is this; The One, the “person” that media and society has created is simply not real. I believe that The One is almost like an outline of what people need to go off of in order to find their “soul mate”. This set of characteristics is out-dated and is only catered to a certain type of person.
So, what do social media influencers, love in the 21st century and The One all have in common? They all portray a set perception of love, and what love looks like. This is, to be blunt, creating a growing issue of naivety and cultivating unrealistic expectations of love. Love isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s dark storm clouds and hurricanes, filled with raw emotions. Love is a commitment. It’s a hard commitment, but one that is worth it when the day is over.
I can easily and wholeheartedly say that since meeting my S.O my perception of love has changed. I have grown to realise that it’s not meant to be some joyful fairy-tale. That’s an unrealistic and naïve expectation. It’s hurt, and pain. But it’s mostly joy, happiness, contentment, and stability.
So really, what is the true point of this post? My point in all this is to spread the message that one shouldn’t spend their life wishing for The One to walk into their lives, because there is no perfect human out there for every single person to find. My point in all this is to spread the message that no matter how perfect an influencer, or a regular person portrays their relationships to be, they still have issues. My main point in all of this is to stop the spread of unrealistic and naïve expectations, to stop the cultivation of false hope in young individuals. Love is not a fairy-tale. It’s a long, difficult journey, but the end result is the sweetest part.